From Craig's list connections to product reviews. This blog is your one stop shop for a little humor with your burlesque needs!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Baby got back, So back the fuck off!
This breed of human thinks that showing love through the "possibility of tapping dat ass" This is the sex shop workers worse nightmare as we typically don't want to know what you are thinking while you do anything that we don't to know about.
Piece of advice dude, Walk away.... walk far far away.
Beautiful Black girl at *********- m4w (South Side)
The rightous to the pointous
This creature of the jungle wastes no time on romance or even a gentle gesture of hellos. They want what the want and take no prisoners in their wake. They choose a the blunt approach for they simply don't have the
time to deal with anything less than perfections and ideal picture of getting right the point. Fear and respected, this creature uses his time saving ways leave him free to pursue other passions in life. However it is hard to be in a romance with this species due to they do not figure that any other examples of affections are sereneness due to inefficiency.
time to deal with anything less than perfections and ideal picture of getting right the point. Fear and respected, this creature uses his time saving ways leave him free to pursue other passions in life. However it is hard to be in a romance with this species due to they do not figure that any other examples of affections are sereneness due to inefficiency.
joe from thanksgiving night - m4m (******)
if you see this
The man from Missouri
I was working today. ALLLL day, exhaustion had settled in my
bones long before I had ever reached work. My car quit in the middle of an
intersection nearly causing an accident and racked with tears, I called my works
who were more than understanding.
My sup: "Don't you have any friends
or family?" I suppressed a cry and simply said no. He wished me luck and
hoped to see me soon. I called everyone that I knew could help. Pressed ignore
and I was crushed After much praying and wishing I finally got the show on the road.
It somehow showed the world that holidays for me were forever cursed by some
shadow of disbelief. In other words, good will toward all men my ass.
The day flew by
with me swallowing my gut crushing loneliness, sadness and the foreboding that
only holidays seem to bring me. I secretly wished I could move to Florida and
bee away from this weather to guide me out of such mental darkness. But alas,
here I am working two jobs on Christmas Eve already too exhausted of the year
all together.
But this was that I’ve
worked that it had been a truly silent night. I sat hunched over the prince Lestat
and reading over new reviews and I found myself over joyed with the prospect of
new toys and how I could market them. Or at the very least, start to understand
the ins and outs (pun intended).
As I was price
checking and doing more
A burly truck
driver aged 54.3 years standing over 6.3 feet who was dressed in a blue flannel
shirt and roughed but jeans. His blue eyes were kind ones that time had long
forgotten even thought passionate nature behind them was striking. Though the
typical of our demo graphic he had simplistic warmth that brought me comfort on
a day like today. I had long finished my shift list and was incredibly grateful
for the company.
We chatted with the
reverie of old friends both good times and bad. I felt the most connected I had
felt in ages. It was nice to feel fulfilled in such a strange environment to do
so. The rest of my shift ended with a sigh and prayer that my car would start.
I also found out that are more people out there than I realized. That in itself
was a better gift than I could have asked for.
Christmas day rolls
around with much of my moping including books and here walked in this divine
looking amazing. Legs for the gods and she was serving some serious fish. The words
“You don’t recognize me do you?” I smiled as soon as I had heard that.
“Of course dear,” I
remarked. “How could I forget such beautiful eyes,” He smiled and I took in his
glamorous outfit. I thought damn I wish pull him over to take a look out
He called in later to tell me he was grateful for the compliment.
There is nothing
was seeing a beautifully kind person at work. Makes it all worth it.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
The smackious me hardious
This species is great at taking orders. Aroused with violence with and the chance of possible rejection, this breed is a rare occurrence in the human race. Having a reputation of harsh expectations leaves this member of the sexual jungle alone and disoriented due to the lack of returned affections in this suedo BDSM style
dominant daddy - m4m - 54 (**********)
SIR,
I blew you, you bit my fat tits, slapped my face, nuts, and fat ass. I told you that you could piss on me. I jacked off while you squeezed my nuts.
I need this again and need so much more.
Please SIR
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
The yourehopefullynotstraightpleasious
Forever hoping for true love, this breed looks for it in even the most unlikely of places. Backrooms, restaurants, glory holes are amble breeding places for true love despite the sexual orientation of the participating partner.
Happy to live in an unreciprocated eroticism this creature mistakes physical attraction for true love. Could this be love for our ill fated species? Um, maybe? Okay... no.
"You were getting sucked by another guy in a booth. I came in and took over and let you come in my mouth. You gave off a straight vibe, but seemed to have a good time. Would love to set something up anytime/anywhere you'd like...no reciprocation required. I can do a much better job when I'm more comfortable. At your service, man. Had a great time."
Happy to live in an unreciprocated eroticism this creature mistakes physical attraction for true love. Could this be love for our ill fated species? Um, maybe? Okay... no.Guy at *******Tonight Around 6pm - m4m - 34 (Des Moines)
"You were getting sucked by another guy in a booth. I came in and took over and let you come in my mouth. You gave off a straight vibe, but seemed to have a good time. Would love to set something up anytime/anywhere you'd like...no reciprocation required. I can do a much better job when I'm more comfortable. At your service, man. Had a great time."
Monday, December 22, 2014
The daddious timelyious
This creature is very precise with his needs. Desires possibilities of commitment but only after a harsh critic and a possible pretest junk lunch. Lonely during the days... at noon, He feels the need to be in chronic control. Though hard to mate with these species procreates through chat rooms, bathroom and college students spreading the ideology of perfection until it becomes its own sentient being.
POST:
NOON TIME DADDY FOR SON at ******* - m4m - 59 (AMES)
age : 59 body : averageheight : 5'10" (177cm) status : married
Labels:
anal,
butt play,
craigslist,
DDF,
junk lunch,
married,
sex,
sex shop
The straightious tothepointius
This breed of male is not one for soft talk or incitement. With out a picture, this creature roams the the pages of craigslist in search of anyone looking for similar interests.
The post:
"hwp-- seven in cut -- sucking getting sucked here NOW tell ? Fun before Christmas"
Not the smartest creature in the animal kingdom, this specimen relies on bluntness to get his "point" across.
The post:
"hwp-- seven in cut -- sucking getting sucked here NOW tell ? Fun before Christmas"
Not the smartest creature in the animal kingdom, this specimen relies on bluntness to get his "point" across.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
sitiousonmyfaceous: The Rimmer
This unique species is a private type in all matter. The sitiousonmyfaceous is a breed typically involved with people. creeping delightfully under bathroom stalls and stairways to briefly fulfill a figment of the fantasy
Behold:
The posting of the
sitiousonmyfaceous:
sit on my face - m4m - 36
age : 36
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
Monday, December 1, 2014
Man, you treat me like crap literally.
Today's introduction is a rare breed indeed. The poopious Needious. Wrought from the bowels (pun intended) of the human conscientiousness. He uses the words "Dude" and the term "no worries" to put his potencial hunting ground at ease. This creature demands the need for defecation on his person to reach satisfaction as per exhibit A:
human toilet - m4m - 35 (ames)
age : 35
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
M4M Blow job too descriptive or just high maintenance
This misconducted romantic has more specifics than most but my star of the week goes to his the level detail, needs and the limits. For you MR. Anal Curious I give you two butt plugs up! However, dispute the long list of desires there lacks a sense of intimacy.
This breed is the "Maleouscontrolous"
"anal curious seeking anal curious - m4m - 25 (my or your place)
age : 25 body : averageheight : 5'11" (180cm) status : single
I've been curious about anal play for a while now, and have decided to give CL a try to see if anyone out there is serious/in the same boat as I am. I am 25, bi curious, discreet, 5'11'', 167 pounds, average build, d/d free, and very down to earth/masculine. I have always wanted to try anal experimentation with another guy, but have never done anything yet. What I am looking for is someone around my age/size that would like to explore my hole, and that wouldn't mind letting me explore his. I am thinking about starting out with some fingering, and then taking it up from there. If you have any toys, preferably smaller toys, that would be great! Also, I'm not sure if I'm up for anal sex yet, but if we click, you never know. Anal sex would have to be safe sex, and I would prefer you to have a smaller cock. I would also prefer to flip-flop, and be able to top you as well. My cock is average to small (about 5.5'' hard and not that thick). I have pictures to share if you are willing to share yours too. Email me if this sounds like something you would want to do. I want this to be a no pressure situation.
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers"
Labels:
anal,
butt play,
craigslist,
junk lunch,
pegging,
penis,
rimming,
toys
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